self-love

"Maybe I should learn not to get too attached."

Heyyy! When was the last time I update this blog? I should have written here. Being able to pour whatever that's on my mind. Here I am typing all these on my bed with lights off and a Yankee candle by my side and Spotify playing in the background. Such a perfect combination right? How I really missed being able to type in this situation. Dear self, the last time you posted on this blog is about Mr A right? Remember those days when you tried blocking him and all, not knowing if you had the courage to not even talked to him?

My dear, you did your best. You tried blocking him but you know yourself that you can't even have the heart to block him for long. Because of how you treasure the relations you had with your friend and his family, you decided to unblock him and make the effort to keep on good terms with him. You did it, my dear. Despite how he tried giving you all the sweet words, you manage to not entertain him that much. But my dear, what about now? Why is it so hard for you to open up your heart again for him?

Isn't what he always did, make your heart ponder a little? You do know that no matter what's gonna happened, whoever you get to know, whoever you're in contact with, you will always end up in contact again with Mr. A? An example is when you're contacting with 🐗, who contacted you? None other than Mr A right? And when you and 🐗 ended things, who came and contact you again? Mr A once again right? When you're sick, who gave the good advice? Of course, none other than Mr A.

My dear self, you should really learn not to get too attached to anyone. You see, you got yourself too attached to Mr. A and see where it got you at? It's been a rough 7 years, my dear. And no, I'm not talking about how that 7 years passed about Ayah. It's been 7 years you know Mr A. Isn't 5 years enough for you? Suffering all by yourself for 5 years, isn't enough? Please, dear self. Stop getting too attached to anyone. It's not worth it at all. Learn to love yourself more than others. Learn to put yourself first than others. It is not wrong if you want to put others before you but depends on what kind of person they are. Self-love for yourself is more than anything else that you need right now.

Love,

Dinah xx