Friends...
"True friend's silence hurts more than
an enemy's rough words.."
Hey ayah, it's 2019 now. Time really flies...right? It's only 16th day of January 2019 and I'm already tired with everything. Ayah, this year marks your 5th years (and Atok Mansoor 12 years) leaving me, left all of us, your family. Too many things happened again. Why do i sound exactly the same as previous post? HAHAH :')
Anyway, as i was saying, 2018 was one of the tiring journey for me. Those ups and downs i faced, those struggling i had, those pains i felt and many more. But, there's quite a number of highlights that made me happy, such as, had an amazing friends during intern (especially those TP mates! Gosh i miss them).
Ayah, i betrayed my friend's trust. What have i done ayah? This guilt feeling i'm having right now, is killing me. I know how hard it feels like to earn someone's trust again but i don't know why did i even break this trust. Ya Allah, what have i done?
I've been keeping myself quiet eversince i got home from school. Been isolating myself in room, and here i am typing all these on my blog. I didn't mean to lie in the first place but the situation was hard for me to handle and that lying is the only way out. I'm sorry. I'm sorry that I've broke your trust.
You know, after telling the truth to my friend, R. Z., i can't seems to look at my friend's face. I was so ashamed with what i did but thanks to my ego, i pretend like i'm not at fault. But when that friend says, "Bye friend", i feel like i was stabbed in my heart. Suddenly, my chest starts to feel so heavy and i feel like my lips are sealed. I can't talk, i can't do anything besides looking down and that's when i realize that the guilt is piling up in me. I'm so sorry Zin. I'm truly sorry😔
Anyway, as i was saying, 2018 was one of the tiring journey for me. Those ups and downs i faced, those struggling i had, those pains i felt and many more. But, there's quite a number of highlights that made me happy, such as, had an amazing friends during intern (especially those TP mates! Gosh i miss them).
Ayah, i betrayed my friend's trust. What have i done ayah? This guilt feeling i'm having right now, is killing me. I know how hard it feels like to earn someone's trust again but i don't know why did i even break this trust. Ya Allah, what have i done?
I've been keeping myself quiet eversince i got home from school. Been isolating myself in room, and here i am typing all these on my blog. I didn't mean to lie in the first place but the situation was hard for me to handle and that lying is the only way out. I'm sorry. I'm sorry that I've broke your trust.
You know, after telling the truth to my friend, R. Z., i can't seems to look at my friend's face. I was so ashamed with what i did but thanks to my ego, i pretend like i'm not at fault. But when that friend says, "Bye friend", i feel like i was stabbed in my heart. Suddenly, my chest starts to feel so heavy and i feel like my lips are sealed. I can't talk, i can't do anything besides looking down and that's when i realize that the guilt is piling up in me. I'm so sorry Zin. I'm truly sorry😔
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