Past or Future?

"Stay Strong. Believe in yourself. Never give up"

July 5th 2020, Sunday @ 1700hrs.

Never have i ever wrote a post at this timing. Usually, I'll write a post at night, where everyone is asleep except for me. Exceptional for today, i decided to write a post at this timing, where everyone is minding their own things while me? Here i am lying on my lil-bro's bed, listening to sad songs. And i realized how comfortable i am in his room, which used to be mine.

Well, I've been feeling so down for the past weeks and I'm not sure what's the cause of it. Meh, who am i kidding? Stop lying to yourself, Fafa. You know, when your mind is full of negativity and your heart, which wasn't fully heal yet, is slowly breaking apart, all you do is sit at the edge of your bed and stare blankly at the walls. You don't know what to feel, how to feel. You're lost. You wanted to share with your closest friends but you just don't know how. It's easier to say that you're doing just fine rather than having to explain what's hidden in your heart and mind.

Keep telling myself to cheer up every single day is tiring, i swear. Been trying to plant those positive words in myself but guess who's the stubborn ones? Me, of course. When you thought you had let go of your past just so you can focus on your future more.. Joke on you, Fafa. Your past decided to drop by and say hi to you, kuddos.

 

Just when i thought i can move on from my past and not to dwell on it..

There he is kept popping on my notification screen..

 

 Why are you telling me that you're ready for marriage and all? I mean, hello? I'm no longer part of your future, just like how you're no longer part of mine too. Please refrain yourself from entering my life again, i had enough.