now, who's the real traitor?

"He will give you something better than what was taken from you"
Quran 8:70

When was the last time i wrote here? Let's talk about the title of this post. There are tons of things that i wanna share here but I'm not sure if it's a wise thing to do. Basically, the main point of what I'm gonna share in this post is about me losing respect to the people who were once had a good spot in my life. Be prepared as this post gonna be long, as long as a giraffe neck (okok joke aside) TEEHEE~

Someone whom I've trusted the most, the one who i thought were like sisters to me, the one who i shared most of my memories with.. I've lost all of my respect for them honestly. Yes, i did said that i forgave them but to trust them with my whole heart again, is a big NO. Why bother putting your 101% trust on someone who actually betrayed it? Why bother giving zillion of chances to those that never once stop realized that they were at faults? Why bother explaining yourself to those that had turned their back on you? Why bother showing them that your self-worth is on the edge of a very fine line? Why bother telling them to stop hurting you?

To trust someone and treat them like they were part of the family is what i treasured most. But, knowing how they gang up and bombard me over a mere things that was just a misinterpretation among all of us, is something that I'll remember. You know how hurt it is when one kept accusing you for twisting stories without knowing the real story while another one kept saying the way they text has always been like that so, why bother getting affected about it?

Tell me what should i do when one kept accusing you for twisting stories and called you "Fake Friend" behind your back without you knowing. Can you just imagine how hurt i felt when i heard that? Like i don't mind you accusing me but calling me fake friend and not having sincere heart to be friends with y'all.. excuse you, how do you know if I'm being sincere in being friends with someone? Are you living your life as ME? No, you're not. Go on accusing me but never ever called me fake friend when all these while, i was the one who was there when you're down, i was there to give moral supports to shitheads like you, i was there accompanying you whenever you needed a companion, i was there to help settle out a fight among us friends but there you are calling me being a fake friend? And mind you, up till date, i have yet to hear you saying sorry to me for calling me fake friend and not sincere in being friends.

Again, tell me what should i do when one kept saying about the way they text had always been the same, in a "jokingly" manner. Screw you. If it is only once or twice you said that I had new group of friends and that i even forgot about your existence, sis, that is not how you jokingly talked about it. It can somewhat triggered me and yes, i am TRIGGERED by it. You don't go around telling people, "oh so you have new friends and you forgot about me huh?" 
NO, YOU DON'T DO THAT TO OTHERS! Who the hell do that? Why are you doing this to me? I sent you a long text, telling you how i really feel and how sincere i am to sent you that text but what did you do? YOU FREAKING CUT AND PASTE MY WHOLE DAMN MESSAGE AND SENT IT TO THE GROUP! You shithead! WHY?! Just why did you do that? I don't freaking understand that??? And yet, you still have the cheek to say that i take things seriously + i push about this matter too much + you're just joking about it and lastly, i make it as an issue? Sis, y'know what?? I'm speechless now. You know me the longest and yet, you can still said that? Oh wow.